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#007 – How To Disagree With People (Without Ruining Your Relationships)

#007 – How To Disagree With People (Without Ruining Your Relationships)

Quote, Podcast, Framework, Hack, Tweet.

Dimitri Gremos
April 26, 2023

Welcome to the Five to Thrive newsletter

I share 5 interesting ideas every Thursday morning to ignite your curiosity and drive your growth in productivity, business, and all things peak performance.

read time 3 minutes

#007 at a Glance:

Quote that will get you thinking: Proving yourself right
Podcast you should listen to: Simon Sinek’s advice that every young person NEEDS to hear
Framework: Pareto’s Law (80/20 rule)
Hack you should try: Say “I disagree with that” instead of “I disagree with you”
Tweet I liked: JPMorgan CEO’s 16,000-word letter summarised into 15 tweets

Quote that will get you thinking:

“It’s nice to succeed, not necessarily to prove others wrong, but to prove yourself right.”

Mick Schumacher

Podcast you should listen to:

The Diary of a CEO E176: Simon Sinek

One of the most searched names on YouTube, Simon Sinek is undeniably one of the leading thinkers of our time when it comes to communication, leadership, and culture.

Out of the hundreds of podcasts he has recorded with various people, this episode is by far the most valuable in my opinion. So if there’s one podcast with Simon Sinek you should listen to, it’s this one.

He delves into how to maintain healthy relationships, practical ways to communicate more effectively, how to have difficult conversations (and how handling them well sets you apart), and the trajectory that Gen Z as a whole is currently heading towards.

This episode was recorded a while ago but it’s one that I revisit frequently – simply because I extract a different lesson each time.

Listen and watch on Spotify here. Listen on Apple Podcasts here. Watch on YouTube here.

Framework:

Pareto’s Law (80/20 rule)

I know most of us have heard of the 80/20 rule before (otherwise known as Pareto’s Law):

20% of our effort accounts for 80% of our results.

Knowing this is one thing. Actually using this framework to modify our actions accordingly is another.

What’s the 20% of your effort that is currently contributing to 80% of your outcomes?

For me, it’s sleep. Collectively, the time, effort, and sacrifice I invest into ensuring good quality sleep is accounting for 80% of my positive output during the day whether it be my energy, creativity, or overall health.

I know that by applying just a little bit of focus on getting the right sleep, I see massively beneficial improvements in how I function on a daily basis.

What’s the 20% you could focus a little more on to improve 80% of your results?

Hack:

Say “I disagree with that” instead of “I disagree with you”

When putting forward ideas or points of view, it’s natural for people to get emotionally attached to them. Especially if it’s something they believe is a ‘really good idea’ or an opinion they hold close to their heart.

Here’s a thought:

Next time you are going to disagree with someone (either in your personal life or at work), say “I disagree with that” instead of “I disagree with you”.

It creates a degree of separation between the individual and the idea itself, mitigating against any potential offense they might have taken given their emotional attachment to the idea.

Because now, you’re disagreeing with a point of view, not the entire individual and every single opinion they hold on every single topic.

It’s incredible how a small and seemingly insignificant change in word selection can have such a profound influence on your interactions with others.

Give it a go.

Tweet I liked:

One of the things I love about Twitter is the way complex, long-format content can be condensed into bite-sized information, saving us all a bunch of time and energy.

Last week, I came across the tweet below which summarised a 16,000-word letter to shareholders by Jamie Dimon (CEO of JPMorgan Chase) into a series of just 15 tweets.

Very interesting insights into global economies and AI – insights I wouldn’t have otherwise been exposed to since there’s no way I was going to read the entire 16,000-word letter.

So thank you, Twitter.

This week, Jamie Dimon published a massive 16,000-word $JPM Letter to Shareholders, sharing his views on topics such as inflation, fiscal policy, AI, and interest rates.
Here are 15 Key Highlights from the letter 📄🧵
1. Are we moving from a virtuous cycle to a vicious cycle?
— Quartr (@Quartr_App)
2:58 PM • Apr 6, 2023