#056 – Listening vs Understanding

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read time 3 minutes 

#056 at a Glance:

• Quote that will get you thinking: The hardest mode possible.

• Podcast you should listen to: Theo Von x Tucker Carlson.

• Mental Model: Listening to Reply vs Listening to Understand.

• Framework: Muddy Puddles & Leaky Ceilings.

• Tweet I liked: Stop switching businesses.

Quote that will get you thinking:

Podcast you should listen to:

This Past Weekend w/Theo Von E468 – Tucker Carlson

Tucker Carlson is a political commentator, journalist, host, and author best known for his years as an anchor on Fox News, CNN, and more. He is currently host of the show “Tucker on X”.

Tucker joins Theo to chat about life after Fox News, his new show on X, how to find the truth in journalism, the struggle for power in America, sobriety stories, the debate around RFK Jr., wild Greyhound bus trips, smoking cigs with teachers, and much more.

Incredibly entertaining, equally informative.

Listen or Watch on Spotify here. Listen on Apple Podcasts here. Watch on YouTube here.

[Podcast Length: 2 hours 36 minutes]

Mental Model:

Listening to Reply vs Listening to Understand 

It feels like in many of the conversations that I observe these days, ‘listening to reply’ is becoming increasingly pertinent.

What is listening to reply?

‘Listening to reply’ consists of listening in a conversation for the sole and only purpose of determining what to say when the next millisecond of silence opens. The usual objective of ‘listening to reply-ers’ is to ensure that the next thing that comes out of their mouth is on-topic, appears insightful, and serves as a positive reflection of who they are.

People who ‘listen to reply’ typically view discussions as merely an intellectual and reputational proving ground.

Let’s take a look at the antithesis – ‘listening to understand’.

When one listens to understand, they are not out to ‘prove’ anything to anyone. Nor are they too fussed about showing off everything that they know or everything that they’ve done.

They converse out of the pure joy and wonder that comes from talking to other humans in this beautiful thing called life. They approach discussions with humility, empathy, attention, care, and respect for both themselves and others.

I’ve definitely fallen into the trap of being a ‘listening to reply-er’ from time to time but am consciously trying to override that.

Besides – listening to understand just takes the ‘pressure’ out of conversations, don’t you agree? No agendas, no objectives, no performance.

Let’s all make a more conscious effort to listen to understand, shall we?

Framework:

Muddy Puddles & Leaky Ceilings

Love this problem categorisation framework from James Clear:

"I split problems into two groups: muddy puddles and leaky ceilings.

Some problems are like muddy puddles. The way to clear a muddy puddle is to leave it alone. The more you mess with it, the muddier it becomes. Many of the problems I dream up when I'm overthinking or worrying or ruminating fall into this category. Is life really falling apart or am I just in a sour mood? Is this as hard as I'm making it or do I just need to go workout? Drink some water. Go for a walk. Get some sleep. Go do something else and give the puddle time to turn clear.

Other problems are like a leaky ceiling. Ignore a small leak and it will always widen. Relationship tension that goes unaddressed. Overspending that becomes a habit. One missed workout drifting into months of inactivity. Some problems multiply when left unattended. You need to intervene now.

Are you dealing with a leak or a puddle?"

So clever.

Tweet I liked:

Thanks for reading! Grateful for your support.

Stay hungry, stay humble, stay curious. ⚡

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