#037 – Anti Role Models & Modern Dating

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Bringing 5 interesting ideas to your inbox every Thursday morning to ignite your curiosity and drive your growth.

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read time 3 minutes 

#037 at a Glance:

• Quote that will get you thinking: Just do your best…

• Podcast you should listen to: How to Navigate the Dangers of Modern Dating.

• Mental Model: Anti Role Models.

• Hack you should try: Use a Vision Board.

• Tweet I liked: Boundless joy.

Quote that will get you thinking:

Podcast you should listen to:

Modern Wisdom #634 - Sadia Khan - How to Navigate the Dangers of Modern Dating

Sadia Khan is a relationship coach, author, speaker, and psychologist.

Expect to learn what people are getting most wrong about relationship advice, why modern dating practices are pre-positioning divorce, the factors behind self-sabotaging behaviour in relationships, the insidious reason behind why partners incite chaos in some relationships, Sadia’s thoughts on the growing childlessness epidemic & much more...

Listen on Spotify here. Listen on Apple Podcasts here. Watch on YouTube here.

Mental Model:

Anti Role Models 

One of the things that has been engrained into us all from a young age is the importance of having good role models – people whose actions are broadly considered net positive so that if we were to replicate the same within our own lives, we would be more or less on the ‘right path’.

Or perhaps it’s a certain trait or characteristic that the individual possesses, allowing them to be classified as a verifiable role model in a given domain, such as in a particular career, sport, academic field, relationship, etc.

Fair point, Cristina.

But a concept I’ve been thinking a lot about recently is the idea of Anti Role Models.

These are people we are surrounded by who possess traits or characteristics that we DON’T admire. They are the antithesis of who we aspire to be.

This idea flips the script on how we typically view role models.

With anti role models, our efforts are concentrated not on attempting to emulate traits that we admire in others, but instead on making a conscious effort to avoid those behaviours that we fundamentally disapprove of and dislike.

For example, do you have a close family member who smokes? Instead of smoking a pack a day and following mindlessly down that path, the ‘anti role model’ approach kicks you into gear to NOT replicate that behaviour. The same applies to other destructive behaviours such as drinking, gambling, abusive communication, negative relationships, and can even spill over into less tangible factors such as a weak mindset and low ambition.

I think this concept of an anti role model is both empowering and confronting.

Here’s why:

• Empowering: You no longer need to embark on a tremendously thorough search to find individuals within your orbit who you admire and intend to ‘follow’ in some regard. You can draw both inspiration and motivation by merely analysing the actions of those around you who you intend NOT to be like. Simply conduct yourself in a way that is in positive opposition to the example being set.

• Confronting: Ah, but now there are no longer any excuses. “I smoke because my Dad smokes”, or “I drink because my brother drinks” are no longer valid excuses. The idea of an anti role model serves as a break in the causal chain of destructive learned behaviour. It takes away the ‘blame card’ and places the entire onus on you, the individual, to not follow in the detrimental footsteps of those around you. There is no longer anywhere to hide or anyone to blame.

Who are the anti role models in your life? Which characteristics/traits should you be positively contradicting?

Hack you should try:

Use a Vision Board

Without a doubt one of the most underrated hacks.

I never used to like vision boards because I thought that they were a bit tacky and pointless.

But there really is something about constantly seeing visual representations of your future goals staring right at you in your room/office area at home and the impact that has on your subconscious motivation, decision-making, and everything in between.

Game changer, highly recommend.

Tweet I liked:

That’s all for this week, thanks for reading!

Grateful for your support.

Stay hungry, stay humble, & stay curious. ⚡

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