#036 – Jealousy & Breathing

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Bringing 5 interesting ideas to your inbox every Thursday morning to ignite your curiosity and drive your growth.

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read time 3 minutes 

#036 at a Glance:

• Quote that will get you thinking: We may not like it today but we’ll love the payoff tomorrow.

• Podcast you should listen to: Why your breathing is all wrong.

• Mental Model: How to Overcome Jealousy Forever.

• Question to ask yourself: Voluntarily driven vs Involuntarily dragged.

• Tweet I liked: The most addictive drug.

Quote that will get you thinking:

Podcast you should listen to:

The Diary Of A CEO with James Nestor – The Breathing Expert

James Nestor is an award-winning author and science journalist who, after 10 years of intense research, has become an expert in the one pillar of our health that we give absolutely zero thought or consideration to: Our breathing.

Every breath you take fundamentally impacts all areas of your health and wellbeing, however, 95-99% of people are breathing suboptimally.

In this incredibly thought-provoking discussion, Steven and James discuss:

• How 98% of people are breathing incorrectly.

• Why we have adapted to breathing incorrectly.

• How human skulls have changed over time.

• Links between breathing and overall health.

• The damage of mouth breathing.

• How changes in breathing CURES ADHD FOR THE MAJORITY OF CHILDREN (yes, you read that right).

• Breathing techniques to tackle stress.

• How indoor carbon dioxide is impacting our intelligence. (The impact of closed exam rooms versus exam rooms with air ventilation such as an open window on the academic performance of students was absolutely mindblowing).

• Why millions of children are ill from incorrect breathing.

This chat was so good that after I finished listening to the episode on my walk, I came back to my room at home and ordered James’ book straight away on the spot haha. Currently about halfway through. Loving it.

Listen or Watch on Spotify here. Listen on Apple Podcasts here. Watch on YouTube here.

Mental Model:

How to Overcome Jealousy Forever 

Is there anyone that you’re jealous of?

Be honest, who’s the first person who came to mind when you read that?

Got their name in your head? Know what they look like?

Okay, cool.

Now, visualise them sitting across from you right now.

What is it about them that you’re jealous of? Is it their achievements? Their accolades? Their abilities? Their Freedom? Self-belief? Financial status? Cars and homes they own? Area they live in? Family situation? Intelligence? Travel experiences? Popularity? The business they own? Their relationships with loved ones?

Try your best to identify exactly what it is that you’re jealous of.

Got it? Cool.

Me personally? I’m visualising Chris Williamson. I would absolutely love to be able to speak so engagingly and compendiously in the way that he does. His ability to intellectually probe some of the most fascinating people in the world and manoeuvre his way through any conversation is just so cool to me and is a skill that I wish I had mastered.

But this isn’t about me, think about your person. Keep them top of mind.

There are two ideas that I came across this week that together have the secret to overcoming jealousy forever:

I really love the second point. We tend to believe that the particular attribute we are jealous of is something we can just delicately pluck from their personality/lifestyle and then ‘add on’ to ourselves as if life is some sort of idealistic video game. No, no, no. This is a wholesale, 100% swap with that other person.

You don’t just get to have access to the ‘good’ without any of the ‘bad’.

There is a price you have to pay.

• Do you want to be as good as Michael Jordan at basketball? You better enjoy having paparazzi in your face 24/7, a very public divorce, gambling and alcohol issues, an obsession with basketball that spills negatively into virtually every other area of your life, and everything in between.

• Do you want to be as good as Tiger Woods at golf? In that case, you better enjoy being in the limelight from the age of 3 years old and having your father racially abuse you so you could become better. You also need to not mind having your wife chasing you out of your own house with your very own tournament-winning golf club. And there’s the other stuff like the injuries that take years to recover from, the drugs, the alcohol, the list goes on.

You see, the secret to overcoming any form of jealousy rests on these two key points, if we can just understand that:

1) The person I’m jealous of has their own insecurities, hang-ups, shortfalls, and issues just like I do. It just manifests itself in different ways.

2) The thing about them that I’m jealous of isn’t something that I can just pluck out from their personality/lifestyle. It’s a wholesale deal. Am I willing to pay the price of everything else they’ve got going against them in order to have access to the one or two things they’ve got going for them? Would I really want to swap their life for mine?

Hope it helps.

Question to ask yourself:

Voluntarily driven vs Involuntarily dragged

One of the most profound things that has come out of the endless hours I’ve spent listening to Steven Bartlett is this single question (which I’ve asked myself over and over and over again in many different situations over the last year or so).

For anything you are currently working on or perhaps anything that you are obliged to do/complete, ask yourself:

“Are you voluntarily driven or are you being voluntarily dragged?”

That job you’re currently at, those friends you always hang around with, that qualification you’re working towards, that career you’re striving for, and anything else that you feel obliged to do.

Whatever it is on your calendar that is classified as something you “have to do”, ask yourself the question:

Are you being voluntarily driven to do that thing/perform that obligation, or are you being involuntarily dragged?

The key to unlocking the power of this question lies in the honesty of your answer.

Tweet I liked:

That’s all for this week, thanks for reading!

Grateful for your support.

Stay hungry, stay humble, & stay curious. ⚡

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